True love: so appealing and yet somehow so elusive for those who fail to attract an enduring and fulfilling relationship into their lives. However if you challenge the assumption that ‘love is blind’, you can discover how to avoid blindly falling in love with an incompatible mate and instead ascend in love with the soulmate of your dreams.

Soulmates

Opinions differ as to what ‘soulmate’ means. Is your soulmate the one partner in the world who ‘completes’ you? This was the hypothesis offered by the Greek philosopher Plato (5th century BC). In the Symposium he proposed that early humankind originally had both male and female parts until they were tragically split apart. Only by reuniting with their soulmate could they supposedly feel whole again.

Another perspective on soulmates is Jung’s (1875-1961) idea that this completeness can be accessed within yourself, independently of another person. His anima and animus theory espouses that you can reconnect your inner feminine and masculine essence in the same way Hindu texts talk of awakening your dormant Shiva (active) and Shakti (receptive) nature. The premise here is that when your being is integrated you become the soulmate of divinity within, eliminating the need to search outside yourself for the experience of unconditional love through blissful union. Mystic Edgar Cayce supports this idea: “The soul is the soulmate of the universe rather than of an individual entity.”

Perhaps you have many soulmates who drift into your life, teaching you what you need to learn, drifting out again when their role has expired. In this way they can be seen as a trigger for self healing and transformation, coaxing your true self to shine through.

Whichever theory you prefer, the desire for loving relationships remains undeniably the most owerful driving force in the human psyche.

Love bug

As you bounce down the street, the breeze caresses you and sunshine kisses your skin. Radiating joy and vitality, you smile at the strangers in the bank queue who wonder what you’re on. The truth is your body is bursting with the euphoric biochemicals released when you become smitten by the love bug. Intoxicated by ecstasy-inducing chemicals called monoamines and pain-killing endorphins pulsating through your veins, you experience the giddy moments of fresh love.

The ability to distinguish lust from love is blurred by the presence of these primal juices, though, and once you come down from the initial thrill the realities of sustaining a long-term relationship hit home. The course of love rarely runs smoothly, and although you might be seeking a satisfying relationship, you could find yourself becoming involved with a person who is incompatible or proceeding to unconsciously sabotage your progress with a prospective partner. To clear the path for enduring love you need to examine your attitude to relationships and your choice of partner, in an attempt to remove any roadblocks on the freeway of love.

Roadblocks on the freeway of love

When you think of the words ‘love’, ‘relationship’, ‘partner’ and ‘commitment’, what flashes through your mind? Your parents fighting? Bored couples sitting silently through dinner? A television episode of Married with Children? Do you literally picture yourself on a leash, straining to reach forbidden delicacies? Or perhaps ‘chained to the kitchen sink’ by an abusive and demanding partner?