“It was a Bridget Jones nightmare!” Jane* wailed. “I had to go to the wedding with my parents. It was a family wedding but still, I’m 36-years-old and I’m sharing a room with my parents for God’s sake! At the reception it’s obvious I’m single since I’m there on my own and these two guys asked me how old I was — a bit rude of them. But anyway, when I said I was 36 they laughed and replied, ‘You’re stuffed!’ I was so shocked I couldn’t speak.”

Singledom abounds with disaster stories like Jane’s and it’s not only women with such tales to tell. Jason, a warm, intelligent man who had just turned 40, said he was sick and tired of women’s eyes glazing over when they found out he wasn’t wealthy enough for them. “I’m not in banking or the stock market so they just aren’t interested. I’m convinced women are just gold diggers.”

Single people, both men and women, all complain about the continual question: “So have you met anyone yet?” They feel it implies their lives are obviously lacking and will be that way until they get a partner. Even if they do want someone in their lives, braving the dating scene to find that “right” person can feel like facing a potential minefield.

Men on women

“Women are up themselves.” This was David’s candid opinion on the fairer sex. A decent, funny and sociable guy, David said he was over the way women treated men. “What women don’t realise is that it takes guts to go up to a woman and start up a conversation. Women don’t have to do that. They get to swan around and wait to be asked.” At 40, David is little bitter about the singles game. “You should see how some women look at you when you go up to them. It’s like you’re a bit of scum stuck to their shoe. I’m OK with someone not wanting to talk to me, but there’s just no need for that superior attitude.”

David isn’t alone in his views. Single men report they become weary of rejection. Usually women don’t do the asking so they don’t have to deal with what is often a humiliating experience. After being rejected enough times it is understandable that a guy might decide to give up. “It’s just not worth it. My ego can only take so much,” said one man.