Time alone — it’s what we all crave, even if sometimes we don’t hear the call for respite from our deepest core. To sit and read a book, think on an issue or notice the seasons turning and clouds shifting across the skyscape — these in their simplicity are important, rebalancing pleasures in life. Yet our world is so switched on 24/7, so brimming with noise, stimulation and company that to be still has become a luxury (and often an impossibility). When I lock in my dates for a six-day retreat at Gaia Health Retreat and Spa I have spent six weeks working back until 1am and 2am — and this is not unusual.

My back-story? I am a 43-year-old freelance health journalist and I live in the breathtakingly beautiful Blue Mountains of NSW with my gorgeous family: husband, twin girls aged seven and son aged nine. My children have multiple food sensitivities, including peanut allergy, which demand much food preparation and lower their immunity so they get sick a great deal.

Last year, we faced additional stresses. My twins contracted a sometimes painful skin virus, which may go on for several years and requires up to one-and-a-half hours of attention every day. My grandmother died and, weeks later, my mother underwent surgery for ovarian cancer, which thankfully turned out to be benign — but it put us through some nail-biting times. In short, I am beyond burnt-out and in dire need of healing and rest. When I rise at 5.30am to make a train so I can catch a plane from Sydney to Ballina, I’ve had three hours’ sleep and feel like my feet (and eyelids) are made of lead.

Snapshots of Self-Nurture

Day 1

Hours later, the beautiful beaches of Lennox Head provide a stunning backdrop as the transfer car drives me from Ballina airport to Brooklet in the hinterland of Byron Bay, NSW. Right on midday, I walk through the entrance to Gaia and feel a strong sense of occasion — the sound of flowing water emanates from enormous Tibetan hand-carved circular vessels on either side of the ornate Burmese entranceway, which arches overhead. I’m ushered into Kukura house (Sanskrit for people) — the main meeting place for guests — and I sink into a soft lounge.

I’m grateful for the refreshing ginger tea and small fruit platter that is served to me while I sit and check in. Nibbling on purple grapes, slices of kiwi fruit and ripe strawberries, I’m struck by how intensely flavoursome and fresh they taste. Maybe it’s because it’s the first time in days I’ve eaten any food away from my computer. Maybe it’s the soothing ambience of the Samoan-style longhouse with its cathedral ceilings, exposed timber beams, candle light and decorative lanterns. Whatever the reason, I already feel that my dulled senses are regaining clarity.

En route to my restful layana room, a small spider with a rotund white body and black legs make its way busily across my path and disappears into the colourburst of surrounding sub-tropical garden. I squat down to watch its progress. Already I am living in the moment — my journey back to myself has begun. After a fresh and filling lunch I flick through information about the retreat. I’m grateful Gaia is flexible: you can arrive and leave on any day and adopt a weight loss, detox and get-fit package or just enjoy their regular holistic regime, which I am following.

Each day I will be assigned two activities, but I can opt in or out as much as I want. Classes on offer include body balance and fitness, sound meditation, qi gong, Pilates, clay sculpture and wellness talks. In addition, I have access to daily yoga, the swimming pool, the tennis courts, bikes and fitness centre/gym. I’m clearly in the right place for revitalisation and self-discovery. Though I want to experience as much as possible, I also feel a strong urge to hide away.

I settle into a hammock to read my novel, Cold Mountain, which I’ve been trying to finish for the past nine months, but the azure sky with its cottonwool clouds keeps stealing my attention. What a luxury it is just to swing back and forth, with nowhere to rush to! Later in the day, I attend a fitness class and our gently motivating instructor, Roberta, gives us one-on-one attention during step-ups, lunges, crunches and tricep dips. I enjoy a soothing hour-and-a-half massage and dine with three other women, one who is giving up smoking, one on a detox and one simply kicking back. At 10pm, I’m in bed and fall into a blissful sleep, resting more soundly than I have in months.

Learning: Surrender