Let’s talk about sex

“LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX” – Welcome to my new Sexual Health blog

Before we do, my name is Matty Silver and I have been in private practice in Sydney for a number of years helping people with a wide variety of sexual health issues.

Some people can easily talk about their sex lives and some of the challenges that it presents, after all, its not all about heavy breathing and orgasms. It may be held in conversation with close friends, but rarely at a dinner party where if the subject of sex does arise, pardon the pun, it is usually about other people, exploits and jokes.

People are often uncomfortable about airing their difficulties such as, mismatched libidos, impotence, performance anxiety, internet and porn addiction or confusion about sexual orientation. They don’t want their friends or family to know that the relationship they are in is marred by their sex life. For instance you can’t announce at a dinner party “my partner and I have not had sex for months” it has been so difficult that we tend to avoid it. That is only one scenario.

For example I am constantly amazed how uninformed many men, both younger and older men, are about sexual functioning and intimacy particularly in relation to erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. Most of the time they suffer from performance anxiety and all they need is the right information, education and reassurance. Sometimes these worries can lead to depression or a breakdown of relationships. In addition sexual dysfunction may be an early indicator of heart disease, high cholesterol or diabetes.

I started my counselling career as a telephone counsellor for Lifeline many years ago and made the decision to get my counselling credentials and I found that the area I was most interested in was sexual health. As odd as this may sound, it is my passion mostly because I became conscious that so much of people’s relationship problems stem from not only their sexual issues but also their discomfort in discussing it with each other as there is still a lot of embarrassment about the subject. For me, it’s very rewarding when I can help individuals and couples work through it and help them find back the joy in their relationships and releasing their personal sexual discomforts.

Many of my clients are either geographically or initially reticent to face a counsellor so it is easier and less confronting to use telephone counselling which is, after all, an area of therapeutic help that I am very experienced in. For those in the country and remote areas the chance to discuss such issues is even rarer.

I therefore decided to specialise in National telephone counselling. It is anonymous and provides a safe, supportive and confidential environment. Talking over the phone can be less threatening and being at home is more relaxing. It is easier to fit in a telephone appointment, no travel, transport or parking problems.

There is much to talk about sex and yes, we can share the laughs that the humour around it brings but only when we feel comfortable within ourselves and the people we relate to, then, we can relax, enjoy and gain the wonderful benefits of what nature has intended.