{"id":1734,"date":"2021-08-23T11:32:02","date_gmt":"2021-08-23T01:32:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.wellbeing.com.au\/curious\/?p=1734"},"modified":"2021-08-23T11:32:02","modified_gmt":"2021-08-23T01:32:02","slug":"learning-to-love-your-vulva","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wellbeing.com.au\/curious\/learning-to-love-your-vulva","title":{"rendered":"Learning to love your vulva"},"content":{"rendered":"

At age 14, I (finally) hit puberty and, like all teenagers, was curious about my changing body \u2014 especially my genitals. So I jumped onto Google to see what a \u201cnormal\u201d vagina<\/a> looked like. There I found articles like \u201cThe 5 Different Types of Labia\u201d, which suggested getting a hand-held mirror, squatting down and getting to know what kind of labia I had. Of course, I immediately grabbed a compact mirror from the bathroom and locked the door. Squatting down with my undies around my ankles, mirror in hand, I studied myself briefly, then swallowed shame and disgust as I shoved the mirror back into the drawer.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d never watched porn so I\u2019d never really seen another vagina, but I knew enough to know that my genitals weren\u2019t \u201cperfect\u201d. The boys in my year would make jokes about girls with \u201coutie\u201d labia. This toxic mindset, both from our peers and from the media, is problematic on so many levels. Not least because of the pressure it puts on young women.<\/p>\n

Labiaplasties are the world\u2019s fastest-growing cosmetic surgery trend, according to a 2017 study by the International Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery. A labiaplasty is the reduction or reshaping of the labia minora, or inner lips of the vulva. Many experts point out that while some women do opt for the surgery because it affects their everyday lives, many have perfectly healthy labia.<\/p>\n

In a 2016 Australian study, almost three-quarters of the women surveyed reported their labia\u2019s appearance as their main reason for wanting a labiaplasty. They wanted to achieve that neat, Barbie-like or \u201cporn pussy\u201d appearance. Research in the same year found that Medicare labiaplasty claims more than doubled in the decade between 2003-2013.<\/p>\n

So where does this need for a designer vagina come from? In a TedX talk from 2018, Dr Gemma Sharp notes that talking about vaginas is where we, as a society, really struggle. And because of this, \u201cmany girls and women have fundamental misunderstandings about their own genital appearance\u201d.<\/p>\n

The way we talk about vaginas and vulvas matters. From a young age, many girls and women are taught to use euphemisms like \u201clady garden\u201d, \u201cgirly bits\u201d or \u201cdown there\u201d (not to mention other more disgusting variants). So how are we meant to talk and learn about our vaginas and vulva when it is constantly reinforced that although this is a private part of ourselves that needs to remain unspoken, unseen and untouched, our genitals still need to look pretty?<\/p>\n

Vaginal wellness<\/h2>\n

Just as self-care has become a money-making buzz word for the beauty industry<\/a> (think beauty face masks, $200 candles and expensive 10-step skincare routines), investing in your vagina has become somewhat of a trend in the world of wellness \u2014 and it\u2019s called \u201cV-Care\u201d.<\/p>\n

There are vulva facials and microneedling that promise to make over and rejuvenate your genitals; jade yoni eggs to strengthen your vaginal muscles and enhance sexual and feminine energy; and vaginal steaming to cleanse your uterus, help with irregular periods and boost fertility. Sound too good to be true? That\u2019s because they probably are. As obstetrician-gynaecologist Dr Jen Gunter writes in her book The Vagina Bible, vaginas are a \u201cself-cleaning oven\u201d and the wellness products we\u2019re being sold are marketed to us \u201cbased on the idea that there are \u2018toxins\u2019 or \u2018impurities\u2019 to remove\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cHonestly, in my personal and professional opinion this [vaginal wellness trends] is merely another gimmick for money making,\u201d says holistic sexologist Cheryl Fagan. \u201cFrom a sexologist perspective, I want people to learn to love their bodies (show kindness and compassion) just as they are and to question the system (cough\u2026 misogyny) that is telling us we \u2018need\u2019 these sorts of things. You\u2019ll love your vulva when you get comfortable with it and know how to give it pleasure.\u201d<\/p>\n

Pharmacy brands are making scented washes that promise to make your genitals smell like peach blossom and restore pH balance, despite ingredient lists that include alkaline and other skin and pH irritants. There\u2019s also deodorants, cleansing wipes, moisturiser and scented sanitary products for your vagina. And many of these are being marketed specifically to teenagers, teaching them that their vaginas or vulvas need improving.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s inappropriate and teaches self- or body-hate,\u201d Cheryl explains. \u201cFragrances and different chemicals in the products can alter your pH and cause irritation so you want to be careful. The vagina (the canal) does not need to be washed; you can use unperfumed soaps on the vulva gently, but water is enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

And while gimmicks like Goop\u2019s \u201cThis Smells Like My Vagina\u201d candle seem harmless and funny, they may actually be contributing to the shame and stigma surrounding vaginal shame. Because, let\u2019s be real, no one\u2019s vagina smells like a flower bouquet with a hint of cedar and citrus. \u201cThe idea that the vagina and vulva smell badly or need extensive cleaning products or need to smell a certain way is just not true; these are myths to get people to buy,\u201d says Cheryl.<\/p>\n

Clapping back<\/h2>\n

There has been a global response to the general lack of education and shame surrounding women\u2019s genitals, from inclusive Instagram accounts to viral TikToks by gynaecologists and health experts. Ellie Sedgwick, founder and photographer of Comfortable In My Skin<\/a>, a platform that displays images of real women\u2019s natural genitals, launched her business after seeking advice on labiaplasty for herself \u2014 and then realised her vulva was perfectly normal.<\/p>\n

Then there\u2019s Queens of Eve<\/a>, a women\u2019s health platform founded by Jillian Currie, the self-proclaimed \u201cvagina fairy godmother\u201d who gets real about all things vaginas, from periods and endometriosis to painful sex and everything between. It\u2019s an empowering, body-positive space that provides education and a community to connect and inspire women. These kinds of platforms bridge the gap in our sex education and help bust myths and misconceptions about our bodies.<\/p>\n

\u201cUnlearning here is key; we grow up with so many messages subconsciously telling us how to feel about our vulvas,\u201d says Cheryl. \u201cI think part of the answer is addressing \u2018porn pussy\u2019 and having a discussion as to why so many look the same and how this came about. Talking about it can help change those subconscious beliefs \u2026 we can break the power of this horrible standard by having meaningful conversations about how it\u2019s impacted us individually and collectively. Sex education should include this and encourage self-reflection. And the vagina wall \u2014 everyone should see the wall!\u201d<\/p>\n

The Great Wall of Vagina was launched in 2008 displaying moulds of real vulvas to emphasise that, just like us, no two vulvas are the same. The UK-based art project by artist Jamie McCartney features casts of more than 400 vulvas to spark a conversation, free women from genital anxiety and prove that there is no such thing as the \u201cperfect vagina\u201d.<\/p>\n

How to get embrace your natural vulva, according to a holistic sexologist:<\/h2>\n