While I\u2019m hesitant to say I have an anger-management problem, it\u2019s not a secret among those close to me that I have a short fuse. It\u2019s long been joked about in my family, who often reminisce about the epic tantrums I would throw as a child. But what might have been dismissed as cute at four years old quickly became a problem as I got older.<\/p>\n
As an adult, I try to keep my fuse in check, believing, as many of us are taught, that a temper is something to be controlled and hidden away. I was intrigued, then, to learn about the concept of rage therapy. Specifically, activities that encourage and advocate for embracing anger and rage and letting it all out.<\/p>\n
Socially, expressing emotions like anger and rage are frowned upon. Even experiencing these emotions can make us feel like \u201cbad\u201d people. We\u2019re conditioned to think that those who can\u2019t keep these emotions in check are inept or lacking emotional stability. Overcoming excessive feelings of anger or rage has been managed through therapy such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) \u2014 a series of interventions focused on regulating physical symptoms and reactive thoughts. This process helps individuals understand and change their responses through counselling and behaviour modification.<\/p>\n
More recent research has started to shine a light on how these emotions can actually be a beneficial driver. A 2017 study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that anger is one of our core, basic emotions and plays a vital role in personality growth. Further research documented in the book Fuel in the Fire: How Anger Impacts Judgment and Decision-Making has pointed to the ways in which anger and rage can have positive benefits for self-improvement, helping motivate you to achieve your goals.<\/p>\n
Keen to learn more about an aspect of my personality I\u2019ve always found a hindrance, I spoke with Dr Sheri Jacobson, Clinical Director of Harley Therapy, a UK-based online counselling and psychotherapy platform. \u201cMany mental health conditions stem from unexpressed emotions. If we don\u2019t give space to these emotions, then we\u2019ll come up against psychological difficulty,\u201d she advises. \u201cRage and anger are no different. If we can release those emotions in safe ways, then we can provide some relief from them, in the same way as scratching an itch.\u201d<\/p>\n
There are many reasons anger and rage might show up in our lives and the past year has given us plenty to feel pent-up about. Thankfully, there are many productive ways to scratch that anger itch.<\/p>\n
While I don\u2019t feel my anger \u201cissues\u201d are in need of counselling or CBT, I am interested in embracing and using these emotions in positive ways. From rage room experiences where people can vent their anger by destroying objects, to online scream clubs where individuals can sign in and scream into a microphone, there are options out there to help you express your rage in a safe environment.<\/p>\n
At best, such activities might offer a brief release, but Dr Jacobson warns that without getting to the source of your emotions, feelings of anger will persist. \u201cVenting can be helpful, however rage is often violent and uncontrollable,\u201d she says. \u201cYou can smash and scream away all you like, but it won\u2019t necessarily address the underlying issues.\u201d<\/p>\n
I knew there had to be more to it than stress balls and microphones and that\u2019s where Abby Gilbert came in. Trained in Advanced Alkymia Energie Healing, Wild Grace and the Parasympathetic Restoration Technique, Abby runs a series of workshops called ReWild Dance. The workshops combine Abby\u2019s lifelong relationship with dance and nature connection, intuitive wisdom and body knowledge to \u201cReWild\u201d people back to their untamed and uncorrupted natural state.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s all about emotion \u2014 what we\u2019re stepping into, what we\u2019re experiencing \u2014 and making sure we stay attached to it so we can work with the felt emotion and honour the story it\u2019s telling us,\u201d Abby explained to me over coffee. \u201cReWild is about getting under it so we can connect with the body through the emotion. The dance space is a safe space to work through what we\u2019re feeling.\u201d<\/p>\n
Conditioning and imprinting are inevitable parts of our social lives. We\u2019re taught from a young age which emotions are acceptable and which aren\u2019t, but we\u2019re also taught the \u201cproper\u201d ways to express all of our emotions. \u201cIn families with low emotional intelligence, we can often become stuck in a cycle of acting out old wounds. If we\u2019re not given a chance to move through our emotions in positive ways, they have to go somewhere,\u201d advises Abby. \u201cReWild is a process of tapping into our ability to self-heal, of getting back to ourselves. It\u2019s learning to accept that no emotion is better than another; it\u2019s just what resonates with you and what you need to work through.\u201d<\/p>\n
Abby\u2019s work reminds me of something Dr Jacobson spoke about in our conversation a few weeks before. \u201cPart of the work we do with managing anger is \u2018thought balancing\u2019. We\u2019re wired for negative and repetitive thoughts, so we need to focus on finding balance,\u201d she remarked. \u201cThis doesn\u2019t mean being artificially positive, but acknowledging and accepting our emotions in balance with our experiences.\u201d<\/p>\n
When we begin to unpack our lives, there are often common threads that tie us to our past and the ways we\u2019ve been conditioned to live. If Dr Jacobson and Abby stressed one thing, it was to have empathy for the parts of you that you may not like.<\/p>\n
Rage and anger have a place in our lives. The key is what we do with those emotions. A rage room might be all you need to find release, but true acceptance of yourself can only come about through understanding.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The figure of the angry woman has long been represented as unnatural and destructive, but anger can be an important fuel and a tool for better self-awareness. Here, Elaine Mead shares her personal story of anger, shame and release. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":47,"featured_media":1936,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[497,429,498,396],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wellbeing.com.au\/curious\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1935"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wellbeing.com.au\/curious\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wellbeing.com.au\/curious\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wellbeing.com.au\/curious\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/47"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wellbeing.com.au\/curious\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1935"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.wellbeing.com.au\/curious\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1935\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1937,"href":"https:\/\/www.wellbeing.com.au\/curious\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1935\/revisions\/1937"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wellbeing.com.au\/curious\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1936"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wellbeing.com.au\/curious\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1935"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wellbeing.com.au\/curious\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1935"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wellbeing.com.au\/curious\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1935"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}