{"id":2109,"date":"2022-04-07T12:31:42","date_gmt":"2022-04-07T02:31:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.wellbeing.com.au\/curious\/?p=2109"},"modified":"2022-04-05T12:41:21","modified_gmt":"2022-04-05T02:41:21","slug":"bye-bye-baby-a-guide-to-friendship-breakups","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wellbeing.com.au\/curious\/bye-bye-baby-a-guide-to-friendship-breakups","title":{"rendered":"Bye bye baby: A guide to friendship breakups"},"content":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s not you, it\u2019s me. I feel like we\u2019re two different people who want different things. It\u2019s just not working. These are phrases we associate with breakdowns in romantic relationships<\/a>, but last year I found myself thinking them over and over as I prepared to message a person who I\u2019d once considered my best friend \u2014 let\u2019s call her Sarah \u2014 to tell her that I think our friendship should come to an end. I felt like we were heading down different paths and, to be honest, it was all beginning to feel a bit one-sided.<\/p>\n

This did not happen overnight. We\u2019d been drifting for years after I\u2019d moved away from our hometown, moved to America (and back), gone through a bad breakup and become so consumed by anxiety<\/a> that I decided I needed to completely refresh my life. The turning point had come after a petty high school incident involving a birthday getaway that I was intentionally excluded from. Every moment I spent with Sarah and the group from then on felt toxic and I would experience feelings of dread and anxiety before catch-ups with them. Distancing myself from that group felt like a breath of fresh air (although I still enjoy seeing a few of them) and I knew in my heart that I needed to distance myself from Sarah, too.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a pretty good red flag that something is not right,\u201d shares neuropsychologist and friendship breakup expert Dr Hannah Korrel. \u201cYou don\u2019t have to know exactly what\u2019s not right. But if you can at least identify that you are not feeling happy after you spend time with this person, that\u2019s enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hearing this lifted a load of guilt off my shoulders. It turns out friendship breakups are more common that I thought. In fact, as a society we are beginning to think about friendships more like relationships. Hannah dubs this the \u201cfriendship revolution\u201d and says it is the key to healthy, accountable relationships with friends.<\/p>\n

Good (friend) vibes<\/h2>\n

So what are the makings of a good friend? Well, according to Hannah, there are four main pillars of friendship:<\/p>\n