{"id":2151,"date":"2022-04-22T08:02:29","date_gmt":"2022-04-21T22:02:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.wellbeing.com.au\/curious\/?p=2151"},"modified":"2022-04-15T08:09:33","modified_gmt":"2022-04-14T22:09:33","slug":"why-teaching-consent-matters","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wellbeing.com.au\/curious\/why-teaching-consent-matters","title":{"rendered":"Why teaching consent matters"},"content":{"rendered":"

Content warning: This article contains details and accounts of sexual assault.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

What did your first lesson on consent and sex look like? Perhaps you were taught in pre- or primary school that your body belongs to you, and if you were feeling uncomfortable or unsafe, a simple \u201cno thank you\u201d would restore a safe barrier and protect you from unwanted interactions with other children. Chances are your main form of sex education<\/a> came in high school, with the classic condom-on-a-banana lesson accompanied by awkward giggles and inappropriate jokes.<\/p>\n

I remember sitting with the rest of the year 11 girls in my co-ed school\u2019s drama room, aged 16, being captivated by a charismatic ex-cop\u2019s presentation on \u201cconsent\u201d. We were taken through a list of what counts as assault, told that \u201cdate rape\u201d is the most common form of assault, and listened carefully as he comedically demonstrated how to escape a situation. I walked away thinking how great it was that we were now equipped with the tools to avoid date rape \u2014 telling our \u201cdate\u201d that we have to freshen up (because, according to the speaker, that\u2019s what all men think women do before sex) then locking ourselves in the bathroom before calling for help or climbing out the window to escape.<\/p>\n

As it turns out, this same presentation (albeit a few years later) enlightened Chanel Contos to the conclusion that she had, in fact, been raped. \u201cThat was my only form of consent education. And I thought it was great because I found out that I had been sexually assaulted.\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

It had taken Chanel two years to discover her assault was classified as rape, and that it wasn\u2019t her fault. Looking back, she tells me reporting her assault was out of the question because it would involve her parents. \u201cI probably would have got in trouble for it because we live in a victim-blaming society. And I had snuck out that night, so I was somewhere I wasn’t supposed to be. I thought it was my fault,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

Now 23 years-old, Chanel fronts the Teach Us Consent campaign, an initiative she launched in an effort to push for mandatory consent education in schools. The idea came to her at a friend\u2019s sleepover in 2019. She was sharing her own sexual assault experience in high school, only to find out another close friend had also been sexually assaulted by the same boy. \u201cWe all started talking about sexual assault, and realised we have endless stories [of assault] between ourselves. My first testimonies were from the girls at that sleepover,\u201d Chanel says. It snowballed from there.<\/p>\n

The fight for education<\/h2>\n

Chanel\u2019s initial idea was to gather her friends\u2019 testimonies and take them to her old school principal and plead the case for consent education to be introduced to the curriculum. Her idea was put on hold while she completed her Master\u2019s degree in gender and education in London. That is until a class discussion about sexual coercion brought her peers\u2019 testimonies to the forefront of the conversation.<\/p>\n

\u201c[A classmate] from Tanzania was talking about how virginity testing happened when she was at school and that was her first experience of sexual coercion. I shared my story straight after hers and I was thinking I can’t really relate. I grew up in a really, really privileged area, but I realised that on weekends with other school kids, sexual coercion was just a part of life. People were expected to and forced into having sex, and if you were passed out, no one cared,\u201d Chanel recounts. \u201cI remember the group of people in the zoom call looking at me like \u2018what the f*ck?\u2019 That\u2019s when I realised it’s not normal.\u201d<\/p>\n

But the real lightbulb moment came when Chanel caught up with a friend from Sydney was also living in London. Her friend spoke of another assault Chanel wasn\u2019t aware of, and the pair discussed all the instances of sexual assault they witnessed and stopped as teenagers. \u201cI was just furious,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s when I posted the first Instagram story and that’s what started Teach Us Consent.\u201d
\nWhat was expected to be a dozen testimonies recounting stories of sexual assault (many of which involved boys from elite Sydney schools) quickly became 500, and at the time of writing there are 6723 testimonies posted for public viewing on the Teach Us Consent site. The movement has amassed a large public following, with more than 44,000 signatures on the petition to make consent education mandatory in schools.<\/p>\n

Chanel and her team of volunteers use the @teachusconsent Instagram account (as well as her own account @chanelc) to educate followers on topics about sex (think sex myths, stealthing and toxic masculinity), publish updates on the latest in consent reform and ask followers questions to gather real-world insight and personal stories of sexual assault, misogyny and the reality of being a woman or non-binary person.<\/p>\n

The results of one the most shocking polls were posted in August last year. Chanel posed the question \u201cWhat does your rapist do now?\u201d. The answers were shocking: \u201cDux of his school\u201d, \u201cwinning medals at the Olympics\u201d, \u201che\u2019s a doctor\u201d and \u201cHe is in a long-term relationship. I still haven\u2019t had sex since the rape\u201d. Chanel\u2019s polls and Q&As reveal the dark and disappointing reality of gender inequality and the justice system in Australia.<\/p>\n

But Teach Us Consent has not gone unnoticed. Chanel Contos has become a household name, and she been working closely with education ministers, school principals and the Australian Curriculum Reporting Authority (ACARA) to pull together a new mandated sex and consent education curriculum for K-12. At the time of writing, the proposed curriculum has been approved by the ACARA board and is waiting for approval from the Minister of Education. If it is approved, a new curriculum will be mandatory in schools across Australia.<\/p>\n

On October 21 last year, the Teach Us Consent petition was taken to the NSW Parliament to debate whether to implement holistic and earlier consent and sexuality education in the curriculum. The result was unanimous, delivering cross-party support for stronger consent education.<\/p>\n

Another major win for the movement is The Affirmative Consent Bill, which was passed in NSW on November 23. The bill reaffirms the notion of \u201cyes means yes\u201d, not just \u201cno means no\u201d, acknowledging there are many instances of sexual assault in which the victim is unable to talk or move due to the body\u2019s \u201cfreeze\u201d fear response. The bill also affirms a person\u2019s right to withdraw consent at any time (including in the instance where one act was agreed to but another sexual act wasn\u2019t); clarifies specific definitions of sexual acts; and revokes the ability for a defendant to claim self-induced intoxication made them misinterpret consent.<\/p>\n

\u201cI’m very much in support of the new affirmative consent policy because it teaches people that the default isn\u2019t yes and I think it’s a really good step in the right direction,\u201d Chanel tells me. \u201cIt also means that we have to start teaching yes means yes, not just no means no.\u201d<\/p>\n

Education matters<\/h2>\n

So how do we teach this? The proposed curriculum from Chanel and ACARA starts from kindergarten, where \u201cwe start talking about possible boundaries and what it means to say yes and no, how to handle rejection and how to say no,\u201d Chanel explains. \u201cThat’s as simple as playing with each other in the playground and saying \u2018this toy is mine, you can’t borrow it\u2019 or \u2018you can borrow it now, but only for an hour\u2019. And then that gets continuously built upon. What I would like to see is kids as young as year 5 and 6 start talking about what sexual harassment is, what grooming is, what sexual assault is and where to get help for these things, so that children can identify what they look like and how to deal with it.\u201d<\/p>\n

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A post shared by CHANEL \u22c6 (@chanelc)<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n