Trust those cold feet

written by Terry Robson


It is hard to be certain about things. It’s hard to know if that outfit you are planning to wear will be a bit overdressed for the office Christmas party or if it will hit just the right note of casual allure. Do you go for a red curry or a stir fry? What about that new car: do you want it in dashing red or serviceable white? These are all weighty issues yet surely they pale next to the decision to marry someone, and new research shows that not being certain about an upcoming marriage could be a bad sign.

This issue of feeling “cold feet” before a wedding was looked at in a new study from Kansas State University. The study involved gathering data from more than 600 couples as they approached their wedding, and then for the first four years of their marriage.

The results showed that the couples who were most confident at the outset of their marriage spent more time together, went out to dinner more often, engaged in more activities together, shared more meaningful conversations and showed each other more physical affection.

The researchers observed that if you are feeling doubts then those doubts have some basis. Whatever the reason for those doubts, whether they be real or not, you need to deal with them or they will undermine your relationship. Doubts also reflect a lack of complete commitment and investment in the relationship.

So if you are having cold feet before the wedding then tell your partner; if those feet can’t be thawed then it\’s best to rethink things or you’ll have relationship chilblains before you know it.

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Terry Robson

Terry Robson is the editor-in-chief of WellBeing.