Inspired living

Is this busy life getting in the way of your best life?

Happiness sunset

Credit: istock

How often do we put on hold the most important things in our life because of a deadline, because of work, because other things get in the way?  I did a presentation last week on Ten self-care strategies to transform your life, and a woman came up to me afterwards and said, ‘you know I’ve just realised that I’ve put caring for myself on hold for the last 2 years because I’ve been so ridiculously busy with my work. I kept thinking soon I’ll have time… I’m not going to wait anymore’.

I also feel like I’ve been in a bit of trap the last weeks with a deadline that’s been hanging over me. Yesterday I decided to not let the deadline weigh me down. I made a conscious decision to stop working and to do the most important thing I needed to do…see my beautiful mum….and it was so worth it.

I don’t want to miss out on those precious moments.  At times, I’ve allowed this busy life of mine to stop me from saying yes or doing the things I know in my heart I want to… and it can build up without you realising it. It reminds me of a (questionable) 19th Century experiment.  A frog was placed in boiling water and straight away jumped out. A frog was then placed in cold water and the water was gradually heated to boiling. What happened? The frog stayed in the water and it became warmer and warmer and then eventually boiled to death. Poor frog.

You check in with yourself about what is most important in your life, you prioritise those, and fit everything else around those priorities.

In what way are you a boiling frog? Have you let ‘life’ take over rather than make choices to live the life that is right for you? Most people I’ve worked with have a story where they look back on their life and they can’t believe they stayed in a friendship, a relationship, a job or other life situation as long as they did. They had become a boiling frog.

I don’t want be a boiling frog. So recently I’ve started saying yes more often, even when I don’t think I’ve got the time because of work. I have decided to make a conscious effort to take more time for reflection and relaxation, to seek out more of the precious moments with family and friends and to fit my busyness around the things that are most important. Stephen Covey talked about focusing on the big ‘rocks’ first. You check in with yourself about what is most important in your life, you prioritise those, and fit everything else around those priorities.

What do you want more of in your life? What makes your heart sing and how can you make your heart sing more? Are you saying no too often to things you want to say yes to just because you’re too busy? Are you putting looking after yourself on hold until you have the time? The answers to these questions may highlight that it’s time to take stock. It may be time to make this life, the quality life it should be.

What is one thing you could do this week that makes your heart sing, connects you to a loved one or that gives you some time for you?  Perhaps make a plan and a commitment to yourself. You might even notice that you feel a bit of a shift because you’re doing what you know in your heart you need to do.

You can do it. Lead Your Own Change



Tulsi van de Graaff is a former lawyer with a psychology background as well as an experienced management consultant, workplace trainer, facilitator, presenter and coach. She is the founder of Lead Your Own Change and for over 7 years has been working with individuals, teams and organisations to solve their communication and conflict challenges. She also helps develop emotional intelligence and resilience, create positive personal and cultural change, manage change and uncertainty and enhance relationships and communication. Tulsi runs public workshops including Teen Talk: a communication workshop for mums and teen/tween daughters, Couple Talk, to enhance couple communication and Beyond Breakup, for people healing after a break up.

Tulsi is a volunteer facilitator and presenter for Dress for Success Sydney (DFSS). At DFSS, she runs workshops for women in need, including Finding Your Vision and Trusting in Your Ability as well as coaching training for DFSS volunteer coaches.

For more information check out Tulsi's website, www.leadyourownchange.com, her facebook page https://www.facebook.com/LeadYourOwnChange/ or email Tulsi at Tulsi@leadyourownchange.com