How we can cultivate a sustainable relationship with our bodies and minds by identifying what kind of rest we need.
“Rest begins with the prefix re- because it requires us to go back to a prior state. It is a second chance. It’s an opportunity to put back in order anything that has shifted out of alignment.” — Dr Saundra Dalton-Smith
“Unprecedented times” is what we called it when our container of familiarity shifted dramatically two years ago. These times brought a high level of discomfort and fatigue that continues to this day. But truth be told, we had been getting by on a rest deficit long before then.
So, when a friend forwarded me a quiz about finding out what type of rest you need, I dismissed it; rest didn’t quite feel like the answer to my problem, which was fatigue mixed with restlessness mixed with apathy.
New labels for it kept surfacing — surge-capacity depletion, languishing, burnout — but a way out of “it” was still eluding us. Getting some rest, at least as I understood it then, didn’t quite seem like enough.
Still, in a bout of procrastination, I took the quiz. I found out I was really low on emotional rest, with creative and mental rest close seconds. I was intrigued, but I didn’t know what any of it meant.
US physician Saundra Dalton-Smith, the creator of the rest quiz and author of Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity, researched the roots of the symptoms many of us have been experiencing.
The seven types of rest
Generally, when someone says they need rest, they often mean the sleeping kind. Research from the Sleep Foundation revealed that sleep problems affect 33-45 per cent of Australian adults. But once we’ve done all the recommended sleep hygiene things, we often still can’t sleep, and when we do, we sometimes wake up even more tired. That’s probably because rest, as Saundra quickly realised, is much more than sleep.
According to her research, we need seven different types of rest — physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, social, sensory and creative — which explains why trying to get adequate rest by sleeping might not be quite enough.
Physical rest
- Signs you might have a physical
- rest deficiency:
- You lack energy to do the things you normally do.
- You feel tired but can’t seem to fall asleep.
- You often get colds and sore muscles.
- You rely on substances to give you more energy (caffeine, energy bars, sugar) or more rest (alcohol, pills, comfort foods).
Physical rest, Saundra explains, is a biological need. In stillness, the body’s ability to heal itself is activated. In stillness we can also listen to what our body is trying to communicate to us.
But stillness is only half the story. The author suggests we start by inviting in awareness and paying attention to what areas of our bodies are carrying the most stress.
Physical rest can come to us in passive and active forms. When we sleep or nap, we are passively resting. Stretching, breathing exercises, walks and hot baths are all very effective ways of releasing muscle tension and restoring calm in the body — actively.
A study from the University of Georgia found that light physical exercise three times a week has led to participants feeling more energised after six weeks. So, instead of reaching for our afternoon pick-me-up of choice, light exercise may replenish our bodies’ physical stores instead. The author suggests reflecting on the activities that leave us feeling energised and invigorated, and experimenting with what creates “a deeper level of restfulness, peace and wellbeing”.
Mental rest
- You might be suffering from a mental rest deficit if:
- You feel as if you can’t keep up mentally with your to-do list.
- You feel irritated when you think about your day.
- You feel drowsy during the day.
- You snap at your family and co-workers about small things.
Social media, worrying news, regret about things we did or didn’t do, they all infuse our minds with negativity and make for a busy, loaded environment. Mental rest is about letting go of some of those thoughts that don’t help us, or as Saundra suggests, “the life-changing power of tidying up your mind”. And that requires daily commitment. It can be helpful to schedule time blocks for activities that drain our mental energy, such as emails, catching up on news, doing admin tasks, engaging in social media etc, so that we are limiting recurring fluctuations in our think tank.
Meditating can also help us still the mind and stop the deluge of thoughts, and so can creating a mental sanctuary — a sacred place for our minds to rest.
“Your brain and neurons are wired to fight for your life. They are on alert daily, looking for potential dangers. Mental rest will require your mind to let down its guard,” writes Saundra.
Emotional rest
- An emotional rest deficit might look something like this:
- You have a tendency to focus on your failures and flaws.
- You experience self-doubt and insecurity, which prevent you from trying new things.
- You worry excessively about all kinds of situations.
We use our emotional capacities every day — by offering sympathy to a friend, by comforting a crying toddler, by encouraging a colleague. Not only that, but we adapt our behaviour for each situation, environment or person. We are in constant emotional giving mode.
Emotional rest happens when we no longer feel the need to perform or meet external expectations. To get our emotional capacities back to a healthy balance, we need to regularly return to a place where we can be our full selves, without shame, guilt or pressure to be otherwise. Saundra invites us to cultivate awareness in situations and around people where we feel free to be our most authentic selves.
Spiritual rest
- You might be experiencing a spiritual rest deficit if:
- You feel decreased satisfaction and sense of accomplishment.
- You lack energy and motivation.
- You feel numb and apathetic.
Spiritual rest might look different for each of us, but one thing is certain: we all need a sanctuary — a safe place where protection and comfort are guaranteed. Prayer, in whatever form that might take, has been identified (in separate studies conducted at Duke, Dartmouth and Yale universities) as a common practice in people who get sick or depressed less often.
Saundra suggests that activities such as journalling, meditation or prayer
can have a restful effect on our minds and consciousness.
Social rest
- Signs you might be low on social rest include:
- You feel lonely and detached.
- You find it hard to maintain close relationships or make friends.
- You prefer online relationships over face-to-face relationships.
Studies show that people with strong relationships live longer, cope with stress better and are overall healthier and happier. So our social support system is not just nice to have, but a quantifiable contributor to our wellbeing and longevity. Hence why restoring that social deficit matters a lot.
The good news is that small, everyday gestures such as a colleague remembering it’s our birthday, our partner kissing us hello or a friend getting our joke can help us de-stress and infuse us with a sense of belonging.
Sensory rest
- Signs you might be experiencing
- a sensory rest deficit:
- You have a sensitivity to loud sounds.
- You experience blurry vision and/or eye pressure, fatigue or strain.
- You struggle to enjoy simple, natural foods.
Our senses work together to notify our brains of what is going on around us. They help keep us safe by warning us of danger. But when our brain is overcome with too much sensory input, it can become incapable of effectively processing information, which stresses our body and our mind.
Our bodies crave a reprieve from the sensory overload our five senses put on us. We can give it that by depriving one or more of our senses of the experience of the physical world for short periods. Our work and daily habits make us more susceptible to certain kinds of sensory overload. But many of us can relate to the strain facing a screen for most of the day. So going outside and looking up at the sky is a simple way of changing perspectives and giving our visual senses some rest.
Creative rest
- You could be experiencing creative rest deficit if:
- You talk yourself out of self-care as if you don’t deserve it.
- You make choices that sabotage
- your happiness.
- You rarely feel your work is of value or that others appreciate your contributions.
Saundra describes this as the kind of rest that we might find when immersed in what we consider beauty (aka beauty rest).
Creative rest is not necessarily about practising creativity. In fact, we don’t need to create anything to replenish our creative bucket. Creative rest happens when we wonder, when we get curious, when we’re in awe. The subject can be anything from artistic expressions such as poetry, paintings or music, to the natural landscape.
“Creative rest lets you focus on your basic need for wonder. It’s allowing white space in your life and giving room for your creativity to show up,” says Saundra.
Now, when I reflect back on my initial dismissal of considering rest as a possible answer, I realise that the prospect of rest was daunting and I was perhaps hoping for an easier one. Saundra summarises it well: “Hollowing out space for rest is work. It means saying no. It means having limits with ourselves. It means having limits with others. It takes courage to rest in the midst of an outcome-driven society.”
