On the lookout for love? Use feng shui to get the love chi flowing
Your home, especially your bedroom and the love and marriage sector, can help enhance your love life. As you learn basic feng shui principles, you’ll be able to better arrange your environment to nurture love and encourage its presence in your life.
Your seat of love: the bed
Your bed is the most important piece of furniture when it comes to love and relationships. Start by making sure you have a comfortable, stable and solid bed. You’ll want to feel safe in your bed, so it must be sturdy and in good working order. Ideally, it won’t be a bed you inherited from a past relationship.
Your bed’s location can also make a difference. Ensure your bed is accessible from both sides and not pushed into a corner. This creates a balanced quality that suggests fairness in a relationship. It also creates an energetic invitation that welcomes two individuals into the bed. Your bed should have a headboard or a frame so it’s strong and stable, and should be placed against a solid wall (preferably one without windows).
Turn your bedroom into a temple honouring love, either to support a relationship you already have or to symbolise what you want from a partner.
Feng shui principles promote the free-flowing movement of energy, or chi, above, under and around key objects, like the bed. To keep your love chi flowing, avoid storing anything under the bed itself. Clutter in general should be cleared from the bedroom, but especially from underneath the bed.
Look at what’s above the bed. Ideally, the roof is flat, without any beams or peaks. Stephen Skinner in the KISS Guide to Feng Shui says, “Do not sleep directly under a beam as it will interrupt your sleep with disturbed descending chi or, if you prefer to have a more psychological explanation, it will subconsciously pose a threat hanging above your sleeping head.”
Fans above the bed can also be problematic. Kathryn Weber, from Red Lotus Letter, says, “Ceiling fans above the bed disrupt your body’s chi — and your romantic chi. You might avoid turning on the fan for a week and see what happens: you might find your romance energy has a chance to build up.”
If your bed is old, uncomfortable and too small, or is one you shared with an ex, you might want to replace it. At the very least, splurge on new bed linen, blankets, doona and pillows. Extra throw pillows can enhance the romance energy, so include a pair of those, too.
Your sanctuary: bedroom décor
The bedroom is a sacred sanctuary. If possible, turn your bedroom into a temple honouring love, either to support a relationship you already have or to symbolise what you want from a partner. Weber suggests keeping the bedroom for you as a couple. This might mean removing mementoes of children or extended family and making sure you include happy photos of you and your partner.
If you’re single, display pairs of objects that signify love, both in the bedroom and generally throughout your home. A good way to enhance the love energy in the bedroom is through matching bedside tables. Decorate them similarly and be sure to include a pair of lamps that match, one on each nightstand.
Birds, especially those who mate for life, symbolise love. You might hang a picture of a pair of swans or geese in the southwest corner of your bedroom or the living room. To “keep the heart fires burning”, Weber suggests you “keep a light on in the southwest corners to keep your relationship warm or to draw love to you”. Try this in your bedroom and living room for maximum impact.
Weber also suggests creating a love shrine in your bedroom. “Put a picture of the two of you, a dish with a rose quartz crystal or clear quartz crystal, a heart figurine, and a candle or small lamp in the southwest corner of your bedroom. Dedicate this area to this purpose. Keep the lamp turned on at least three hours each day so it can shine on the crystal.” A love shrine can be created if you’re single, too. Use an image of a happy couple and opt for pairs of objects on your shrine to attract a mate.
What not to do
Mirrors are quite yang and will clash with the yin energy and intentions of the bedroom. If possible, relocate mirrors out of the bedroom or move them so you can’t see them from the bed itself.
If you have mirrored wardrobe doors in the bedroom, and relationships are problematic, consider hanging curtains that block the mirrors so you can’t see them while sleeping. A more permanent solution, though possibly a little more costly, would involve replacing the mirrored doors with wooden ones.
Stuff relating to work, like computers, papers and files, should be removed from the bedroom. The energy of work objects is at odds with the restful intentions of the bedroom. In turn, this can interfere with the nourishing qualities of this space. It also acts as a distraction from love, as if symbolically — and perhaps actually — work dominates your personal life.
"Whether it's an overabundance of floral wallpaper or dying ivy on the corner of your dresser, the bedroom is not the place for plants."
Weber also notes other bedroom don’ts: plants and water. She says, “Whether it’s an overabundance of floral wallpaper or dying ivy on the corner of your dresser, the bedroom is not the place for plants. A picture of a plant is OK, but actual plants? It’s not a good idea, no matter how great it looks in decorating magazines. Plants drain energy in bedrooms and they positively kill a love life, so put them outside or in your living room if you simply must have them.” Water can dampen passion, so if you want to ignite your sex life, remove images of water or water objects like a fish tank, shells and other associated water objects.
Furniture in the bedroom should be closed rather than open. Think a wardrobe with doors that shut rather than open hanging or shelving units. You’ll want to minimise electrical devices as well, which might mean removing a TV or relocating your phone chargers to another area of your home.
Feng shui also celebrates the power of colour. Depending on your gender and relationship situation, different colours can have a beneficial influence on your love life. If you’re in a relationship and want to reconnect physically, opt for a bedroom colour palette that includes skin tones, like nude, beige, rose and soft browns.
If you’re a single woman, add a pop of bright colour — especially a splash of red — to your bedroom. You might buy new pillowcases (in a pair, of course) in a red design or add a red throw to your bed. You can also add horses or dragon imagery but do this outside the bedroom; in the living room, perhaps. This can enhance the yang, or masculine, energy in your home. Try to keep the southwest corner of your living room brightly lit, too.
If you’re a single man, you need to add softness. A pair of vases (with fresh flowers!) or an image of lush flowers in the living room can help. A picture of the moon, a strong feminine image, may also be a good addition. Colour-wise, opt for skin tones and softer shades in the bedroom to balance your intrinsic yang, or masculine, qualities.
The love & marriage corner
Another easy way to access the wisdom of feng shui is to work with the bagua map. This divides your space — your home, a room, even your desk — into nine cubes, or squares, which are each linked to different life areas. The rear right-hand corner is associated with love and marriage.
If you want to enhance relationships, you may find it helpful to enhance the rear right-hand corner of your home, as well as this corner in your bedroom. The rear right-hand corner is determined by standing in the doorway facing inwards to your home or bedroom. The space in the back right-hand corner is associated with love and marriage.
If the rear right-hand corner of your home falls in the living room, you might leave a lamp lit, place a pair of candles or birds, or hang an artwork depicting a happy couple. If single, use an image of a happy couple you admire. If you have a partner, display photos of you and your beloved.
If you're a single woman, add a pop of bright colour - especially a splash of red - to your bedroom.
In the bedroom, the rear right-hand corner will be an ideal place to hang mementoes of happy trips you have taken together, or photos of your relationship. I have a photo array of pictures from our wedding on this wall in our bedroom.
Pinks, reds, whites and yellows are helpful colours in the love and marriage corner, so include those if you can. It’s especially helpful to display objects that reflect your definition of love, or what you want to share with your partner, so don’t be shy about personalising this space according to your individual relationship tastes.
You’ll also want to ensure that anything that falls in your home’s love and marriage corner, even if it’s your laundry like it is in our house, is in good working order. If love is what you want to enhance, keep this area tidy, functional and clutter free.
In The Western Guide to Feng Shui, Terah Kathryn Collins suggests the following enhancements for love and marriage:
- Posters, paintings, collages, photos and figures of your significant other
- Pairs of things, such as lovers, doves, dolphins, hearts etc
- Symbols of love
- Items in colours of red, pink and white
- Quotes, affirmations and sayings pertaining to love and marriage
- Things that have a personal association with love and marriage, such as romantic vacation and honeymoon mementoes, anniversary gifts etc
A shapely home
In feng shui, balanced and complete shapes have the most beneficial energy. If you consider your home as a whole, it’ll be important to make sure you’re not missing a corner, perhaps due to an L-shaped design.
If the back right corner is missing, you’ll want to stabilise this area to help stabilise your love life. You can do this symbolically by erecting a lamp post or other design feature at the point the building would come to if it were squared off. Lighting is an excellent outdoor remedy. Consider solar-powered garden lights if running electrical wiring outside isn’t feasible.
If you’re interested in a more substantial remedy, you might consider building a deck or patio that fills in the empty corner. Include a railing or decorative feature that marks the corner where your home would become a complete square. Or you might create a gorgeous garden space in what is essentially the empty part of your home. If so, include outdoor seating for two to enhance the love chi.
How to keep the love chi flowing
Feng shui enhancements can help you improve your love life or enhance an existing relationship. Make one or two changes and wait up to a month to see the full impact. If you love the results, you’ll know you’re on the right track. If not, you can readjust and make a few new changes.
Every space — and heart — is different. Part of the fun of feng shui is working out which areas of your space have the biggest impact on your life, love and relationships. You’ll discover this through taking action and observing the results.
Keep your space, especially your bedroom, clutter free and filled with objects that speak to you of love and you’ll enjoy romance and happiness long into the future.
8 helpful questions to challenge your negative self-talk
In every moment of every day of your life, your thoughts are determining how you feel and behave. Discover how...
3 ways to make your daily rituals really powerful
Rituals bring a sense of the sacred to traditional ceremonies and ancient practices, but can be woven into our daily...
How one WellBeing reader found wisdom in the unexpected
A ski mishap on the slopes of a Japanese mountain proved a gift for Jennifer Johnston, once she chose to...
Millennial mentor, Melissa Ambrosini, shares how to dissolve outmoded values and beliefs
Using the hard-won lessons of her own life, Melissa Ambrosini is here to help her generation and the next think...