Woman choosing her path

Acceptance: my path to inspiration, connection and change

What a couple of months it has been… First, I had such an intense period of work. Then, my resilient, strong and vibrant dad became so ill that we thought we might lose him and I shut down all my work to focus on just being with my dad and my mum. Around our time spent at hospital, my mum and I spent a lot of time together, supporting each other and really sharing the experience which was both devastating and profound. What helped me/us most was reaching out to each other, sharing special moments and really focusing on accepting what was happening. It can be so challenging not to reject, fight against or question why, but I found in those weeks the most powerful thing that helped, in context of feeling so many different emotions, was to deeply accept that for whatever reason this is what was happening for my father and for us.

My focus on acceptance allowed me to be with the experience and appreciate the moments and the love and connection that we have as a family and around us. I feel so blessed that my dad has now almost fully recovered. The experience itself highlighted to me the power of acceptance when we are facing life’s challenges.

Even at the moment I am again working on accepting what is happening for me … and it’s not easy! I have an 80 per cent finished website, about five half-written blogs and some wonderful opportunities to pursue. Yet the emotional intensity of the last period has left me feeling less focused and able to get into action.

As soon as I focus on accepting me, as I am right now, I feel lighter, more inspired, more focused and more able to take small steps in the right direction, whatever that is.

At times I become critical of myself, and start saying I should _________ (fill in the blank) or asking, “What’s wrong with me?” And again the most powerful thing that is helping me in this moment is to accept that this is where I am right now. As soon as I do this and move away from those should messages, I suddenly feel more free and more able to connect to my heart and what I really want to do. Sometimes it feels like magic! As soon as I focus on accepting me, as I am right now, I feel lighter, more inspired, more focused and more able to take small steps in the right direction, whatever that is. In fact, what you are reading now, I have just written after many weeks of feeling unable to write, and it happened only after I said to myself, “I accept where I am right now.” Suddenly I felt inspired to write just a little. Thank you, acceptance!

Do you accept yourself as you are right now? As much as you might not be satisfied with how your life is at the present time, is it possible for you to say, “I accept that I am exactly where I’m meant to be right now,” or. “I accept myself as I am?” The trap of the shoulds, the self-criticism and the rejection of yourself and what’s happening in your life can hold you in the very place that you don’t want to be. It can keep you stuck and stagnant. To accept yourself and your situation as it is right now, in all its imperfection, is to embrace yourself with love and compassion. It allows you to draw on the special support that only you can give to you and creates a space and opportunity for inspiration, connection, courage and change.

You can do it. Lead Your Own Change.

Tulsi van de Graaff

Tulsi van de Graaff

Tulsi van de Graaff is a former lawyer with a psychology background as well as an experienced management consultant, workplace trainer, facilitator, presenter and coach. She is the founder of Lead Your Own Change and for over 7 years has been working with individuals, teams and organisations to solve their communication and conflict challenges. She also helps develop emotional intelligence and resilience, create positive personal and cultural change, manage change and uncertainty and enhance relationships and communication. Tulsi runs public workshops including Teen Talk: a communication workshop for mums and teen/tween daughters, Couple Talk, to enhance couple communication and Beyond Breakup, for people healing after a break up.

Tulsi is a volunteer facilitator and presenter for Dress for Success Sydney (DFSS). At DFSS, she runs workshops for women in need, including Finding Your Vision and Trusting in Your Ability as well as coaching training for DFSS volunteer coaches.

For more information check out Tulsi's website, www.leadyourownchange.com, her facebook page https://www.facebook.com/LeadYourOwnChange/ or email Tulsi at Tulsi@leadyourownchange.com

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