Words aren’t cheap

Your words are the mirrors of your soul. Sure, if you believe every Yiddish proverb that you come across then you will believe it is the eyes that mirror your deepest depths but new research has shown that what you say about others is also a disturbingly accurate guide to the truth about what is going on in your own psyche.

For the research subjects were asked to rate positive and negative aspects of three other people. They were also given questionnaires to establish their own psychological state.

The results showed that what you say about others reveals a lot about your own personality.

People who saw other people in a positive light tended to be enthusiastic, happy, kind-hearted, courteous, emotionally stable and emotionally capable.

By contrast, people with negative perceptions of others tended to be narcissistic, antisocial, unhappy, disagreeable, and neurotic. They also had a greater chance of experiencing depression or a personality disorder.

If you do tend to be negative about others, changing what you say about them is not the point of this research. The thing is to change the attitudes that drive your opinions of other people. Someone recently said to me that no-one is ever trying to harm you, everyone is just doing their best. If that comment has elicited a cynical (if involuntary) snort from you then try it on for just one day: for one day assume that everyone you meet is doing their best and see if that changes anything. You’ve got nothing but your personality disorders to lose.

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