“Putting your own oxygen mask on first” — the vitality of self-care with Rhana Jane

We chat about self-care and the subconscious mind with Rhana Jane from Untangled Mind. 

Why do you believe self-care and self-development are important?

I believe that self-care and self-development are the basis for all of us to thrive; not just exist through our day-to-day but to thrive.

I believe that self-care is about putting your own oxygen mask on first. It leads to self-love and that leads to success in relationships, business, sport, parenting and all aspects of our lives.

As a parent sometimes the instinct is to help our children first, but we simply cannot help anyone in our lives, whether it’s a partner, colleague, child or client without operating from a position of strength and self-worth.

How did your journey with Untangled Mind begin?

I have always had a deep love for helping people and an interest in neuroscience. I studied Visual Art Communication at university and one of my first jobs was assisting people with mental and physical disabilities with expression in art workshops.

However, it took until I was a mother and struggling with all the complexities of motherhood; for me to start work on myself. Being a mum is a full-time job (a rewarding and challenging one!) and my needs were always last on my list. Soon, my own childhood troubles came to hammer at the door, and I became overwhelmed by post-natal depression, the stages of grief and pain from a loved one’s suicide, guilt, menopause, and the end of a 20-year relationship.

I came across Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT®) while listening to Marisa Peer speak and I instantly knew it was a method that would resonate with me. It was very much a case of “when the student is ready, the teacher appears”.

What is Hypnotherapy and RTT?

Hypnosis is the deep state of relaxation accessing the alpha and theta brainwaves that we are in when we are in a dream state. It is a very natural state, and we feel it every day when we are completely absorbed in a movie or even brushing our teeth while thinking of something else. It is basically a deep state of relaxation where all awareness can be directed inwards. Hypnotherapy is guided hypnosis, a form of psychotherapy that uses this deep relaxation, to bring about concentration, and intense focus to achieve a heightened state of awareness or mindfulness. 

Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) is a powerful therapy developed and fine-tuned for over 30 years by world-renowned therapist and multiple Stevie Award winner, Marisa Peer. It combines the most effective principles of Hypnotherapy, NLP, Psychotherapy and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy to bring unparalleled results. It is not one methodology but a unique combination of the most profound tools for transformation. It is a different and holistic form of therapy that has proven effective in dealing with Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), low confidence, low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and addictions as well as weight loss, insomnia, and sports performance. RTT works with the subconscious mind where all habits of thought, emotion, and behaviour live. It utilizes hypnosis as one of its tools to access the subconscious mind and bring about transformation but goes beyond hypnosis, diagnosing what works with clients to build a new therapeutic approach. Unlike traditional hypnotherapy, RTT® does not rely solely on positive reinforcement.

Together we discover the root cause for a problem, what beliefs were made at a very young age and powerful NEW beliefs are wired in while in a state of healing hypnosis. It serves as more of a reinforcement of the breakthroughs rather than the catalyst.

How does RTT help people in their everyday life?

Our deep beliefs about ourselves are developed before the age of seven. They are how we act, how we speak, how we feel, how we turn up. They are the “I am” and we all have them. “I am a procrastinator”, “I am introverted”, “I am sensitive”, “I am always going to feel like this”, “I am unable to cope”, “I am forgetful”, “I am depressed”, “I am not important” “I am unorganized” “I am an insomniac” ….

Together we use the tools of RTT and we find where and when these beliefs were formed, we change the interpretation of events that led to the belief and we wire in new and powerful beliefs. Everyday life expands with new opportunities.

What is the guiding ethos behind Untangled Mind?

Untangled Mind is for all women who have suffered from unwanted, persistent feelings of hopelessness, anxiety, depression, and being overwhelmed. It is also useful for physical conditions, dealing with PMDD, menopause and unexplained weight issues. At Untangled Mind, there is a commitment to helping clients in finding freedom and joy. It is a partnership. It is not a case of having a session and then, “off you go”. There are follow up calls and continued support.

Initially, a client will have a free virtual coffee with me where we discuss any issues they may have. We then have a 90 minute – 2-hour session together. During this session, I make a bespoke recording for the client to take home and listen to for 30 days. This wires in new neural pathways and reprograms the mind to more positive beliefs. I check in after a week to check progress and we have another phone call at the 30-day mark to discuss what changes they have noticed and next steps. I look forward to these phone calls and love hearing the results. They are the most fulfilling part of my week. With clients, I also like to teach how the mind works so they have a new self-awareness and learn to flip things in the future.

I have discovered there is always a reason for why we do what we do or feel the way we do. As an example, straight forward command hypnotherapy can try to convince you to eat less if you are wanting to shed a few kilos but if you are carrying extra weight because you took on a belief that extra weight kept you “safe” or “seen” or “stronger” or it is a “comfort” for you then the mind will not let these commands in. The mind has the belief that it is protecting you and so how much you are eating is not the problem. It’s your subconscious mind’s solution to your real problem. The real problem is what we work together to tap into.

Together we always strive to get to the real problem – the root cause – and it’s there that we unlock true power and potential. I love seeing my clients access this power and remove old beliefs.

It’s fulfilling and every healed person helps the people around them.

Do you have any memorable experiences working with clients at Untangled Mind?

I have so many. The clients with the most memorable sessions, believe-it-or-not, are the ones who come to me affected by relationships with Narcissistic personalities, quite often a parent, and want freedom from the negative self-talk they are so used to. They have the most profound change for me because their feelings go from one extreme to another. Seeing them develop immense confidence and self-belief after many years of shrinking, hiding and low confidence is an incredibly fulfilling part of my work.

What are three things we can do today to help our mental health?

1. Your mind is always listening. It does not matter if what you say to yourself is true or not, your mind listens and acts on your words regardless. Changing self-talk changes your experience. One example of this is feeling nervous about something. Your mind cannot tell the difference between feeling nervous or feeling excited. Both have the same body reaction so changing the word to ‘EXCITING’ changes the experience.
2. Your reactions to events are what affect you. Observing your reactions is the first step to controlling thoughts and your thoughts directly affect your physical and emotional response.
3. One of the rules of the mind that I am very aware of is the use of the word “don’t”. I make a conscious effort not to use it. For my children to have healthy self-esteem I use the word “remember” every day in place of “don’t forget”. It is a simple but empowering method for young kids to feel good about themselves. Especially when they do remember!