Life interrupted
Diagnosed with MS at 22, one woman shares how natural therapies, self-discovery and resilience transformed her journey to health and wellbeing
In 1997, my life changed forever. As a healthy 22-year-old, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, a condition of the central nervous system affecting the brain, spinal cord and optic nerves. According to the doctor there was no cure and how MS would affect my functioning, the frequency of relapses and level of impairment were all unknown.
My first episode of immobility was confusing. For the first time ever, I experienced the disconnect between mind and body. At work in an office with all eyes on me, my mind knew I needed to walk but my legs were unresponsive. My foot dragged. I tripped, holding on to anything I could to make it back to my desk.
From this moment, my life was dominated by my condition. Everything I did or didn’t do was because of MS, whether experiencing a relapse, recovering from a relapse or envisaging the next period of dysfunction. I was filled with fear and frustration. MS made living the life I’d created difficult and my dreams for the future seemed impossible. My career, my inner-city lifestyle, even plans for overseas adventures all assumed good health. But that was no longer a given.
As the relapses became more frequent and aggressive I became more and more despondent. I was at a loss as to how to stop the avalanche of poor health. All I could manage was to tweak my existing life. I wasn’t willing to compromise my corporate career, so I withdrew socially to conserve energy and hopefully prevent another relapse.
It didn’t work. I was merely reacting to symptoms and, a few years after being diagnosed, I had a massive relapse. This meant months in hospital, initially bedbound then confined to a wheelchair. I was petrified I would never walk again.
Eventually, I regained mobility and “walked” out of the hospital, determined never to return. I decided my health and well-being could no longer be an added extra; instead, somehow, they needed to be central to all aspects of my life.
For me, this shift was instigated by exploring natural therapies. Meeting people with different approaches to wellbeing challenged my existing frame of reference — the filter I’ve always used to understand health, wellbeing and life.
The perfect example was my first experience with intuitive healing, which encouraged me to embrace the unknown. My logical and rational mind couldn’t make sense of what was happening. I couldn’t see the energy or chakras or where the blockages were. I didn’t understand how the practitioner received messages about past lives, insights into childhood experiences or visions about my future. In my existing framework, it didn’t make sense, yet it felt right.
I knew these sessions were providing clarity I’d never experienced before. I learnt to stay grounded and became aware of the flow of energy through my body. I also became increasingly intuitive, tuning in to what my higher self was saying, which in turn enriched my life.
I don’t write as an expert on a particular natural therapy. I’ve tried intuitive healing, kinesiology, Psych-K, The Body Code, neuro-physiotherapy, osteopathy, myotherapy, Feldenkrais, Chinese medicine and acupuncture, mindfulness meditation and various diets. For me, it has been the learnings I’ve taken from all of my experiences that continue to improve my overall being — physically, emotionally and spiritually. My learnings from natural therapies include these benefits:
Being present. When diagnosed, my mind raced ahead. I feared that walking sticks and wheelchairs would be my future. Learning the importance of staying in the now, I no longer envisage every possible catastrophe. What’s the point of worrying when it may never come to fruition? And if it does, I’m now confident that I’ve gained insights to ensure that I will not only cope but grow
through the experience.
Quietening the mind. Staying calm in the midst of uncertainty is invaluable. A quiet mind has made it easier to follow my heart, be aware of energy and signs around me and make decisions that feel right — feeling rather than thinking my way through life.
Embracing difference. My life path is different from what I had envisaged, but embracing that difference has been freeing. It has also given me the confidence to explore new approaches to wellbeing without worrying about what others may think. People may question the validity of some natural therapies, but that doesn’t mean my experiences aren’t valid and right for my journey.
Focusing on self. After my diagnosis, my focus was external, researching and learning about MS. However, such thinking didn’t acknowledge the impact I could have on my prognosis. Knowing that my response to MS will define my life experience has been the motivation I needed to continue working on myself. Taking time to focus on myself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary.
Being proactive. I’d always been reactive in my health and wellbeing. If sick or injured, I’d go “get fixed” then continue until the next interruption. I no longer sit and wait for another relapse but keep my mind and body healthy with massage, exercise, meditation, clean eating and osteopath appointments.
It has been 20 years since my diagnosis. My life is unrecognisable, with changes in my career and relationships, overseas adventures and a sea change. Although at times I struggle with walking long distances, the relapses have stopped. I feel good. I feel healthy. And I am genuinely excited about my future.
MS has become a vehicle for self-discovery. Although I continue to be guided by a neurologist, natural therapies have opened my mind to new ways of understanding and experiencing my life. This has undoubtedly improved my overall wellbeing and created opportunities I never dreamt of when diagnosed with MS.
