4 great love stories and their lessons

Since our ancestors sat around the fire telling stories we have learned about life and our world through tales that encapsulate truths of existence. Films and novels are the modern-day equivalent of these fireside chats and they allow us to sit by our individual “fires” while still sharing in the collective wisdom.

This is also what drives a lot of the appeal of many popular tabloid magazines today. Through reading about the romantic exploits of iconic couples we form opinions and make decisions about what makes a great couple. If we can learn from the ephemeral relationships of Hollywood, how much more can we learn about love from the stories of the great love matches that have persisted through the centuries or decades? Let’s examine a few of those relationships spanning in time from the 1st century BCE to the 20th century CE.

Antony and Cleopatra

Mark Antony, or more correctly Marcus Antonius, was effectively the right-hand man to Julius Caesar. He was not party to Caesar’s assassination in 44BCE but in the years after the death Antony came to power as part of a “triumvirate” with Marcus Lepidus and Caius Octavius, the youthful grand-nephew and adopted heir of Caesar.

Once in power, Octavius changed his name to Octavian and later became the first emperor of Rome as it transformed from a republic ruled by a senate into an empire governed by one man, with the senate losing much of its power. As emperor, Octavius changed his name again to Augustus and his reign of 41 years was a glorious age, but if it were not for Antony’s love of Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt, things might have been very different.

Part of Antony’s responsibility in the triumvirate was the Eastern parts of the Roman world, Greece and the Middle East. He badly wanted to invade Parthia, modern-day Iraq, as it posed a threat, but he needed funds to do so. It was known that Egypt was brimming with money, so Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt, was summoned to the city of Tarsus in modern-day Turkey in 41BCE.

Cleopatra had been Caesar’s lover, despite a 30-year age difference, and she had been in Rome when Caesar was assassinated. She had fled back to Egypt but now returned to meet Antony in Tarsus with great pomp and circumstance. Writers of the time say that Cleopatra was especially physically beautiful but that she had a charismatic way about her that made men putty in her hands.

Antony was no weak-willed individual but her arrival in a “golden” barge, complete with lavish adornments and attendants, obviously made an impact. He was convinced by Cleopatra to accompany her back to Alexandria. While the alliance between the two was initially political, they eventually became lovers. This was the beginning of the end for Antony.

He spent most of his time in Egypt and while there acknowledged one of Cleopatra’s sons as the son of Julius Caesar. Antony also promised away Roman provinces to Cleopatra’s children and, despite still being married to his Roman wife Octavia, became Prince Consort to Cleopatra in 33BCE. He formally divorced Octavia in 32BCE and this may have been the final straw that allowed Octavian to convince the senate that he should go to war with Antony and his beguiling Eastern queen.

In 31BCE at the battle of Actium, Octavian and his admiral Agrippa defeated Antony, who fled with Cleopatra. Without prospect of escape and anticipating execution for Antony and humiliation at best for Cleopatra, the two lovers took their own lives.

The romance between Antony and Cleopatra probably changed the world. If Antony had succeeded in winning sole control of Rome with Cleopatra as his queen, or if he had not fallen in love with her and had remained in Rome to challenge Octavian, he could have changed the course of the Roman Empire and of history, making the world we live in today a different place.

Anne Boleyn and Henry VIII

It may not be entirely accurate to say that Anne Boleyn and Henry VIII were deeply in love with each other. Anne’s interest in Henry was probably far more pragmatic than that, but it seems certain that Anne engendered strong feelings in Henry that were perhaps a form of love. Whatever their exact nature, those feelings were strong enough to change the course of history.

Anne Boleyn had been summoned to the English court in 1522 to serve as a lady-in-waiting to Henry VIII’s first wife, Catherine of Aragon. While serving Catherine, Anne caught the eye of Henry, who had already had an affair with her older sister, Mary. Anne long resisted Henry’s pressure to become his mistress, preferring marriage. Henry’s increasing desire for Anne spurred his efforts to secure an annulment from his marriage to Catherine.

During their 18-year marriage, Catherine had failed to give Henry a male heir to the throne, producing only a daughter, Mary. So in 1527 Henry asked the Pope for an annulment of his marriage, similar to other annulments the Pope had granted kings and princes. Catherine, on the other hand, had many sympathisers and supporters, including her nephew, Emperor Charles V, whose armies threatened the Pope in Rome. After theologians argued that the Pope lacked freedom to make a decision on the matter, in January 1533, Henry secretly wed Anne, who was already pregnant with the couple’s first child, Elizabeth. This was three months before Henry and Catherine’s marriage was officially declared invalid by the Archbishop of Canterbury. Anne was 26 years old and Henry was 42.

Henry crowned Anne queen on June 1, 1533, then had parliament pass the Act of Supremacy in 1534, which proclaimed the king as head of the Church of England. Although Henry VIII himself was a religious conservative, England slowly began to create the branch of Christianity known as Anglicanism. It also closely involved parliament in the key decisions, including the Act of Succession, allowing representatives of the people a vital role in choosing the next dynastic monarch.

However, after three years of marriage, Anne had not provided a male heir (after two stillbirths). Henry began to lose interest in her and took on another mistress, Jane Seymour. On May 2, 1536, Henry had Anne arrested on a range of charges that were probably false, including adultery, incest and being a witch. Anne was executed at 8am on May 19, 1536, primarily because she did not produce a surviving male heir to the throne.

Despite the outcome of their marriage, the love that Henry had felt for Anne inspired him to make changes to the Church that have fundamentally changed society.

Romeo and Juliet

Of all the love matches that will be mentioned here, only that of Romeo and Juliet is fictional. Despite its lack of hard reality, it has so embedded itself in the Western psyche that it has a genuine life of its own. When Shakespeare wrote the play in the 1590s he was penning perhaps the timeless love story.

The play begins in the city of Verona where there is a long-standing feud between two noble families: the Capulets and the Montagues. To try to calm things, the Prince of Verona has decreed death for any individual who disturbs the peace in the future.

Romeo is a Montague and when we meet him he reveals that he is in love with Rosaline, a woman who does not return his affections. Juliet is a Capulet and her father is throwing a masquerade ball, hoping his 14-year-old daughter will agree to marry a suitor named Paris. Romeo and some friends gain secret entrance to the ball and it is here that Romeo sees Juliet from a distance and instantly falls in love with her. Although the Montagues are recognised, Romeo speaks to Juliet and they are drawn together. They kiss, not even knowing each other’s names. When Romeo finds out that Juliet is a Capulet he is devastated and when Juliet learns that Romeo is a Montague she is equally upset.

When Romeo’s friends leave the Capulet estate, Romeo cannot help himself. He leaps over the orchard wall into the garden, unable to leave Juliet behind. From his hiding place, he sees Juliet in a window above the orchard and hears her speak his name. He calls out to her and they exchange vows of love. Within two days, Romeo and Juliet are secretly married. Then things begin to unravel.

Tybalt, a Capulet, kills Mercutio, a Monatgue, and Romeo in a rage then kills Tybalt. Romeo has to flee as the Prince banishes him from Verona forever. Juliet hears that Romeo has killed Tybalt and is disturbed but her love for Romeo overcomes her concern. Romeo sneaks into Juliet’s room that night and they consummate their marriage and their love. Morning comes and the lovers bid farewell, unsure when they will see each other again.

Then Juliet learns that her father, affected by the recent events, now intends for her to marry Paris in just three days. In league with their friend Friar Lawrence, Juliet comes up with a plan. The night before her wedding to Paris, Juliet will drink a potion that will make her appear to be dead. After she is laid to rest in the family’s crypt, the Friar and Romeo will secretly retrieve her and she will be free to live with Romeo, away from their parents’ feuding.

Juliet then finds that the wedding has been moved ahead one more day and she is to be married tomorrow. That night, Juliet drinks the potion and her nurse discovers her, apparently dead, the next morning. The Capulets grieve and Juliet is entombed according to plan, but Friar Lawrence’s message explaining the plan to Romeo never reaches him. Romeo hears only that Juliet is dead and decides to kill himself rather than live without her. He buys a vial of poison, enters the tomb, sees Juliet’s apparently lifeless body, drinks the poison and dies by her side. Juliet awakes, sees her beloved Romeo and realises he has killed himself with poison. She kisses his poisoned lips and, when that does not kill her, buries his dagger in her chest, falling dead upon his body.

In Romeo and Juliet, love is a violent, ecstatic, overpowering force that supersedes all other values, loyalties and emotions. In the course of the play, the young lovers are driven to defy their entire social world and families. In Romeo and Juliet’s world, love is a powerful emotion that captures individuals and pits them against their world and even against themselves.

Hepburn and Tracy

Although the love of Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy may not have had the world-changing implications of the other stories we have covered, it illustrates what people are prepared to do for true love.

Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy were true legends of Hollywood. Hepburn appeared in 45 films and holds the record for winning Academy Awards for Best Actress, winning four times from her 12 nominations. Spencer Tracy appeared in 74 films between 1930 and 1967. He was nominated for nine Academy Awards for Best Actor and won two.

The pair starred opposite each other for the first time in 1942 in Woman of the Year. It was during the making of this film that the pair fell in love, despite Tracy being married to another woman, Louise Treadwell. As a Catholic, Tracy could not countenance divorcing his wife but he had an undeniable love for Hepburn.

Hepburn and Tracy carefully hid their affair from the public, using back entrances to studios and hotels and assiduously avoiding the press. They were undeniably a couple for decades but did not live together regularly until the last few years of Tracy’s life. Even then, they maintained separate homes to keep up appearances. Their relationship, which neither would discuss publicly, lasted until Tracy’s death in 1967. Their relationship was complex and there were periods during which they were estranged and both had affairs but they always came back to each other.

In the end, when Tracy was dying, Hepburn suspended her film career for five years to care for him. Despite this, when it came time for Tracy’s funeral, Hepburn did not attend out of respect for his family.

The love that bound these two stars did not require public acknowledgment. They so loved each other, in fact, that they could remain apart. Theirs is a love of sacrifice and quiet devotion. By its nature, it is an aspect of love not often considered.

Lessons of love

It seems that great love matches contain an element of sadness. Their love comes at the cost of their aspirations in the world, must be hidden, or culminates in their death. In all cases, there is the tragedy of what might have been. Despite this, in these great loves the commonality seems to be that love conquers all; even literal power over the known world comes second to the burning lure of a great love. While this makes for great story-telling and serves to capture the imagination, it hardly serves as a model for love in most lives.

Of those love affairs outlined here, only the constrained love of Hepburn and Tracy is a realistic model for most people. If everyone gave up everything for love, society would fall apart. Perhaps as much as these great couples are examples, they are also cautionary tales. Their mythic qualities inspire but also warn: great love comes at great cost and you must be prepared to pay.

Terry Robson is the co-editor of WellBeing magazine, a broadcaster and  an author. His latest book, Failure IS an Option, is published through ABC Books.