Imposter Syndrome or Society?

Understanding Impostor Syndrome and the Quest for Competence

Impostor syndrome is when you don’t feel competent enough, despite your qualifications, to confidently perform your role. This is exactly how I felt throughout my former years as a medical doctor, with the vastness of the knowledge required only contributing to the cultivation of this feeling. In our society, it is very common for people to have multiple qualifications. Then, the question to really ask is, how many qualifications and titles will it take to feel competent to do your job?

Beneath the Surface of Self-Doubt

I believe that one of the deeper layers beneath this lies in feeling confident to simply be who you are in the world. In a world that encourages you to be the same as everyone else and to follow the conditioned approach to how you go about living your life, you may not have been taught the importance of remaining true to yourself.

Perhaps the notion of impostor syndrome really comes about from trying to be who you think you should be in the world. I remember when I was training in general practice that I constantly felt this. On reflection, it wasn’t so much about not having the credentials or knowledge, but the feeling of having to be someone I wasn’t.

When Impostor Syndrome Conflicts with Authenticity

I felt that a doctor who believed in anything spiritual or any deeper meaning to physical illness — such as the connection to mental, emotional and spiritual factors — was not the definition of a doctor that I had been trained to believe. This resulted in feeling like I was constantly acting, playing out a conditioned role of how I believed a doctor should act.

Through the exacerbation of anxiety, gut symptoms and heightened stress, I realised how my occupation was not serving me. I decided that in order to feel freer to be myself in the world, my vocation needed to be in alignment. The current medical model was not the right fit for me, and so I chose to walk away to create my own vision of holistic health and healing – body, mind and soul.

Returning to the True Self

This is not necessarily the path for everyone, as there are ways to find your authentic self while staying put in your current vocation. The key lies in bringing your authentic self to any situation, allowing you to reduce or even eliminate impostor syndrome.

And this is the crux of it. As a human, you can find it very difficult to be yourself. You may act like a chameleon. If you don’t feel good enough as you are, you may present a version of yourself that you believe other people want to see. As a result, you can start to feel like an impostor in your very own life. This is exactly how I felt.

Developing the deeper confidence that who I am is enough was a journey in cultivating a deeper acceptance of who I am. I found a love for myself, for the parts that I had previously judged — my emotions, my sensitivity, my gentle heart. Overcoming impostor syndrome is not a journey that has a quick fix or stepby-step approach to achieving. The only way I was able to transcend the limitations of my conditioning was to learn to truly love and accept myself.

Growth Through Feedback and Self-Acceptance

A turning point came after teaching a yoga class at a regular gym chain. At the end of the class, I received a lot of mixed feedback. My gentle, slow style was not well received by all of the students. While some of them loved it and said things like “don’t change it” and “stay true to yourself”, others wanted more movement and more fast-paced activity.

Yet that day something inside of me felt different. While previously I would have been very disheartened by the negative feedback, this time I heard their opinions with a calm and gentle confidence. I knew that I had been true to myself and had delivered a class in alignment to who I am.

And what I noticed in this moment, was that no longer were there feelings about being an impostor. I no longer felt underqualified or that I was somehow doing something wrong. Instead, there was a contentment and peace within me, knowing that, in that moment, what I had found was a deeper connection with my true inner power.

My inner flame was burning bright. I was finally confident enough to just be me. To hear the criticisms. To take on advice. But ultimately to remain true to myself and to find the freedom to be myself, despite how I was received in the outside world.

You are not here to be liked or praised by others. While this is always a nice feeling, ultimately the person whose validation you are seeking the most is, in fact, you.