Uncovering health anxiety

When I turned 47 in 2019, just before Covid, I was a confident writer, artist and corporate climber with two daughters fresh out of college and a hard-working husband. By most definitions, I was living a happy, fulfilling, successful life. Outside, I was smiling and enjoying my life. Inside, I had become a bundle of nervous energy, fearful of things that I usually would not give a second thought. I didn’t recognise this sick, paranoid woman at all.

After a little more research and a chat with a woman at my favourite health-food store, I finally discovered a condition that stuck — health anxiety. Particularly for women my age, health anxiety is an actual, debilitating condition that can go untreated for far too long. Fortunately, with increased awareness of mind-body health, a greater understanding of complementary and alternative medicines and the popularity of self-care, we have new options for discovering and managing health anxiety.

The symptoms
I first noticed my anxiety as I was preparing for a trip home to visit my family, something I always looked forward to. For some reason, I didn’t feel the joy. Instead, I was nervous, anxious and filled with dread. I didn’t know where these feelings were coming from or why I was having an adverse reaction to a positive thing. I went on the trip and enjoyed myself but returned home still disturbed by my thoughts and feelings.

Shortly after returning home, I found myself acutely aware of any physical pain or sensation. If my back hurt, I wondered if I had sciatica; an upset stomach found me Googling the symptoms of gastrointestinal disease or pancreatitis; and tender breasts during ovulation sent me spiralling into breast cancer panic. The internet only increased my fears by connecting my symptoms to the scariest illnesses. Just one year before, I would have visited my doctor for an exam. But my new talent for catastrophising led to a new level of anxiety — fear of doctors. I was trapped in a spiral of thinking I was sick while being too afraid to do anything about it.

Learning begins
One day, I walked into the health-food store in my neighborhood. I bumped into the woman who managed the herbal remedies and she asked me how I was. I shared my experience and was sure she would tell me to see my doctor. Instead, she asked me my age. When I told her I was 48, she smiled and said “Oh, honey, you’re going into menopause.” It shook me to my core.

For the next few weeks, I replaced my disease and illness research with research on perimenopause and anxiety. Armed with new information, I felt strong enough to face my fear and visit the doctor. The first doctor was not a gynaecologist, but a therapist. I needed someone to hear my concerns and help me understand the mind-body aspects of perimenopause. Together, we discovered my triggers and connected them with the physical changes I was experiencing. I started to understand how fear was preventing me from using my built-in tools for reason, logic and problem-solving.

Knowledge into action
Now, five years into my perimenopause journey, I’ve made some major changes that are working for me. I opted not to use hormone therapy. I made an informed decision for myself and understand it is a viable option for women who decide to use it. Here are a few highlights from my anxiety management practice:

• Choosing a gynaecologist with a strong reputation for her communication style and patience.
• Eating a diet rich in plants, flaxseed and chia seeds, which mimic oestrogen in the body.
• Walking for 30–45 minutes daily to drive down my cortisol stress hormone and improve my mood.
• Using five-minute breathing exercises or my meditation app whenever I feel anxiety creeping up.
• Spending time in nature to release calm, joyful endorphins and increase vitamin D for bone health.
• Strength training to keep muscle mass and bone density high.
• Finding community with other women on the peri
  journey and with others managing health anxiety. I have learned that no single thing will quiet my anxiety or stop my physical symptoms. I now understand how the mind and body can work together to result in overall wellness.

While perimenopause is one of the significant causes of health anxiety in women, it is far from the only cause. Women and men can experience hormonal changes, life changes and environmental stress that are all capable of triggering anxiety. When thoughts, feelings and emotions all change in unsettling ways, anxiety is worth considering. The most important thing I did for myself was seek help and not allow myself to live in shame. Turning to loved ones, my doctor and a smart lady at a health-food store got me on the road to getting my power back.