Trust? Yes, you can get it back
Trust is something which presents an issue for many people. Often my clients tell me after a bad relationship or bad work experience that they have no trust. They tell me they feel bullied, belittled, blamed and cheated on. They are so torn apart that often it takes months to heal. Some say they will never love or trust again. For these people, it looks like a sad and lonely future.
However, what some of these people don’t realise is that, despite their tears and heartache, they do still trust. We go through our lives being battered by the ups and downs. Often we don’t even realise just how much trust we must have to simply exist on this planet, to live.
How much trust do you have that every morning when you wake up the electricity will work? The shops will open for the goods you need?
Think about it. How much trust do you have that every morning when you wake up the electricity will work? The shops will open for the goods you need? The trucks will deliver the food you need to eat? The phone is working? Your contacts are all still in there? The internet is connected? The police will protect you? The hospital and ambulances will help you out if you are hurt? Your doctor or therapist is still available? Your family still love you? Your job is still there? All these things – and these are just a few – depend on your trust. Your faith in the planet that we will all still be, that it will keep spinning and that you will wake up the next day.
Of course, the next step from that is your internal trust. The trust that the future will be better, that you can forgive, that you can love again, that the next partner will cherish you as much as you do them, that your child will pass the exam, that the sun will shine and that you can spiritually connect perhaps with another human being, or God, or whatever else you believe in.
None of the areas I have mentioned above are esoteric. This is the simple matter of getting on with the living of life here. And look at how much trust there has to be for you to continue. Even for one minute you need to have trust … in something. So, when you walk into my office dishevelled and in tears because of the recent circumstances, stop to think before you say you don’t trust. Yes, you are suffering deeply, you may have been put through the wringer by an ex or your boss who is a bully, but you are still here. You are still standing and you can still echo the words that you need help.
The interesting thing is that, as you tell me your story of how you were betrayed, your voice and words tend to get stronger and the flare of life and passion comes back into your face. Yes, tell me more. Get it out of your system. Don’t keep it inside and swallow it and turn the negativity of it onto yourself. And, above all, don’t tell me you don’t trust because here I sit listening to your words and YES, you can trust me and you do.
In this confidential room in my clinic, you are the one who is most important. Here, you can vent your pain, your fear, your anger and tell me that you don’t trust. But, you do still trust. A part of you trusts me to help you in some way, to show you the tools to heal your grief, to help you come out of your pain and sinking quagmire. To muster all your courage and to begin to live again and to find your deep, latent joy through all the slush of your horrible experiences. Together, we can and will do it! You will trust and love again. And that is why it is so important to visit a good therapist.
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